Condolence Messages Guide: 100+ Examples by Situation

Finding the right condolence message is hard, especially when you care and don’t want to say the wrong thing.

This guide helps you choose a message quickly. It shows how to personalize with confidence and use the right channel so your support truly lands.

What Is a Condolence Message? (Simple Definition + When to Send)

A condolence message is a brief note expressing sympathy and support after someone has died. You can send it by text, handwritten card, email, or as a private message on social media.

Send a message as soon as you hear the news. A short, sincere line now is better than waiting for perfect words. You can always follow up later with another check‑in or a shared memory.

Quick-Start: 25 Short Condolence Messages You Can Use Now

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Holding you in my thoughts today.
My heart is with you and your family.
Wishing you comfort and peace.
There are no words—just love for you.
I’m here for you, now and in the weeks ahead.
Sending strength and gentle hugs.
Keeping [Name] in my heart and memories.
You’re not alone. I’m just a call away.
May their memory be a blessing.
Thinking of you during this difficult time.
I’m so sorry—please lean on me for anything.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
We’re here to support you in any way you need.
I’m holding space for your grief and love.
[Name] will be deeply missed.
Wishing you moments of comfort and care.
Please accept my deepest sympathy.
I’m so sorry—sending love and light.
I can’t imagine how hard this is. I’m here.
My heartfelt condolences to you and yours.
May you find comfort in shared memories.
You’re on my mind; I’m here to help with anything.
With sympathy and friendship.
I care about you so much—text me anytime.

How to Choose the Right Condolence Message (3-Step Framework)

Step 1 — Relationship: Who are you writing to?

Start by considering your closeness and their role in your life.

Close friends and family often appreciate warmer, more personal notes. Professional contacts may need a respectful, concise message.

Close family/friend: mention the person’s name and a memory.
Acquaintance/neighbor: keep it simple; focus on support.
Work relationship (coworker, boss, client): use a professional tone and acknowledge boundaries.
Group/team: send one card or email with a short, unified message and a group sign‑off.

Step 2 — Situation: What kind of loss is it?

Different losses call for different care, so tailor your words thoughtfully.

Avoid assumptions about the cause of death, beliefs, or family dynamics to keep your message respectful.

Sudden loss: acknowledge shock; avoid details/speculation.
Long illness: honor the journey without minimizing pain.
Miscarriage/stillbirth/fertility: validate the loss; use the baby’s name if shared.
Suicide/overdose: avoid cause; emphasize support and nonjudgment.
Pet loss: affirm that grief is real and valid.

Step 3 — Channel: Text, card, email, or social?

Match length and privacy to your relationship and their preferences.

A quick text can open the door. A card adds depth and a keepsake they can revisit.

Text/SMS: good for quick support; keep it to 1–2 lines; follow up later.
Handwritten card: best for depth and keepsake value; sign your full name.
Email: helpful for distance or work contexts; add a clear subject line.
Social media: comment only if the family has posted publicly; avoid private details.

The Personalization Formula (With Fill‑in‑the‑Blank Templates)

[Acknowledge the loss] + [Name/Memory] + [Offer of support] + [Warm close]

A simple structure keeps your message sincere without overthinking.

Lead with acknowledgment, add a memory or quality, offer specific help, and close warmly.

I’m so sorry for your loss of [Name]. I’ll always remember [short memory]. I’m here for [specific support]. With love, [Your Name].
We’re heartbroken for you after [Name]’s passing. [One sentence about who they were]. Please lean on us for [meal/help/pet care]. With sympathy, [Names].
My deepest condolences on the loss of your [relationship]. [Name]’s [quality] touched many. I’m available for [practical help]. Warmly, [Your Name].
There are no words for losing [Name]. I’ll remember [memory]. Call me anytime; I can [support]. With care, [Your Name].
So sorry you’re going through this. [Name] meant so much. I can check in next week and [help]. Thinking of you, [Your Name].

Tip:

One meaningful sentence beats three clichés.
Use the person’s name when possible.
Keep your offer of support concrete.

Messages by Relationship

For Someone Who Lost a Parent (Mother/Father)

Losing a parent can reshape identity, so keep your tone gentle and steady.

Center their relationship with their mom or dad and offer specific support if you can.

I’m so sorry about your mom. Her kindness lives on in you.
Your dad’s laugh was unforgettable. Holding you in my thoughts.
Wishing you comfort as you grieve your mother’s love and legacy.
Your father’s stories always lit up the room. I’ll miss him too.
May your memories of your mom bring moments of peace.
Your dad was so proud of you. I’m here for anything you need.
I know how close you were to your mother. I’m holding space for you.
Your father’s generosity touched many lives—mine included.
I’m here to help with errands this week as you honor your mom.
May your father’s memory be a blessing.

For a Spouse or Partner

Prioritize presence over advice; grief for a partner can be overwhelming and isolating.

Offer steady support, practical help, and room for emotion.

I’m heartbroken for you. [Name] loved you so deeply.
There are no words—just love for you as you miss [Name].
I’ll check in next week to bring dinner and sit with you.
Your love story with [Name] is beautiful and lasting.
Holding you through the waves of grief and memory.
Please lean on me for the practical stuff this month.
I’m here for late‑night texts and quiet company.
[Name]’s warmth and humor will be remembered always.

For a Child (or to Grieving Parents)

Validate the loss and avoid platitudes or “at least” statements.

Use the child’s name when possible and offer tangible help.

I’m so sorry for the loss of sweet [Name]. They are deeply loved.
There are no words—holding you and your child in my heart.
I’ll cherish the memory of [Name]’s bright smile.
I’m here to help with meals and childcare this month.
Your love for [Name] is evident and enduring.
We’re thinking of you as you honor your child’s life.
Please know you’re not alone; call anytime, day or night.
I will say [Name]’s name and remember them with you.

For a Sibling

Acknowledge the unique bond and the weight of shared history.

Keep it warm and offer a listening ear.

I’m so sorry about your sister. Sibling bonds run deep.
Your brother’s spirit and wit touched everyone around him.
I’ll remember the adventures you two shared.
I’m here to sit and listen whenever you want.
May memories of your sibling bring you strength.
Holding your whole family in my thoughts.

For a Friend

Keep it real and loving; concrete help goes a long way.

Let them know you’ll be present in the days and weeks ahead.

I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.
I’m so sorry—let me handle groceries this week.
I loved [Name] too; I’ll miss their [quality].
You don’t have to be “okay” around me.
Grief is heavy; I’ll help carry it with you.
Sending love and checking in tomorrow.
I’ll remember [Name] by [small tribute].
Take your time; I’m here for the long haul.

Professional: Coworker, Boss/Manager, Direct Report, Client/Vendor

Use a respectful tone and keep boundaries clear.

Where appropriate, add a team signature or acknowledgement of workload support.

Coworker
I’m sorry for your loss. Please let us know how we can support you at work.
Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
We’ll cover deadlines while you take the time you need.
Boss/Manager
Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss. Wishing you strength and peace.
Our team is keeping you in our thoughts and managing priorities in your absence.
With sympathy to you and your family during this time.
Direct Report
I’m so sorry for your loss. Take the time you need; we will support your workload.
We’re here for you—please prioritize your well‑being.
With condolences from the team; we’re thinking of you.
Client/Vendor
On behalf of [Your Company], please accept our condolences on your loss.
We’re very sorry to hear of your bereavement and send our sympathy to your team.
We’ll accommodate any schedule changes during this time.
Group/Team sign‑offs
With sympathy, Your [Department/Team Name]
With heartfelt condolences, The [Company] Team
With care and support, Your Colleagues at [Company]

Messages by Situation

Sudden or Unexpected Loss

In sudden loss, avoid speculation and center shock and support.

Keep your message simple, steady, and focused on presence.

I’m so sorry—this is heartbreaking and sudden.
There are no words for this loss. I’m here for you.
Holding you close as you navigate this shock.
I can handle [specific task] this week—please lean on me.
Wishing you strength and gentle moments of rest.
I’m thinking of you and honoring [Name]’s memory.
You’re not alone; I’m one text away, day or night.
With deepest sympathy for your unimaginable loss.

After a Long Illness

Acknowledge the long journey without minimizing grief.

Recognize caregiving and offer rest and practical support.

I’m so sorry—your love and care for [Name] were profound.
Honoring [Name]’s life and the courage of this long journey.
Wishing you peace and time to rest and remember.
Your caregiving was an incredible gift; please be gentle with yourself.
I’m here to help with [errand/meal] this week.
May memories of [Name] bring comfort amidst the pain.

Miscarriage/Stillbirth and Fertility Loss

Validate the loss and avoid advice, timelines, or comparisons.

If shared, use the baby’s name and keep your offer of support simple.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your grief is real and valid.
Holding you and your baby in my heart.
I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.
There’s no right way to feel—please lean on me.
I’ll check in next week and bring a meal.
Thank you for sharing your baby’s story with me.
I’m lighting a candle for your little one.
With love and gentleness for the days ahead.

What to avoid:

“At least you can try again.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”

Loss by Suicide or Overdose

Use nonjudgmental language and avoid details about the cause.

Emphasize care, presence, and practical support.

I’m so sorry for your loss and the pain you’re facing.
Holding you in care and without judgment.
I’m here to listen and help with practical tasks.
Your love for [Name] is clear and enduring.
Wishing you support and gentle moments of rest.
I’ll check in next week; you’re not alone in this.
May memories of [Name] bring you comfort.
With deepest sympathy during an unimaginably hard time.

If you or someone you know needs support: in the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Pet Loss

Honor the human–animal bond; this is real grief.

Acknowledge their companion by name and validate their feelings.

I’m so sorry—[Pet’s Name] was family.
Your bond with [Pet’s Name] was beautiful and deep.
Thank you for giving [Pet’s Name] such a loving home.
I’ll miss [Pet’s Name]’s [quirk/trait] too.
Grieving a pet is real; I’m here for you.
Wishing you comfort and warm memories.
I can help with [pet‑related task/cleaning] this week.
With sympathy for the loss of your beloved companion.

Faith, Culture, and Inclusive Language

Default to neutral language unless you’re sure of beliefs or rituals.

When unsure, use names and “they/them” pronouns, and avoid assuming afterlife views or customs.

Respecting the family’s culture builds trust and helps your message land with care.

Non-Religious Condolence Messages

I’m so sorry for your loss.
Wishing you comfort, care, and rest.
Holding you and [Name]’s memory close.
You’re not alone—I’m here.
May their memory bring you strength.
Sending love as you navigate this grief.
I’ll remember [Name] for [quality/memory].
With deepest sympathy and support.

Examples for Common Faith Contexts (Use Respectfully)

Use these only when you know they’re welcome.

Align your message with their tradition, not yours, and keep the tone gentle.

Christian
Keeping you in my prayers.
May God’s peace comfort you.
We celebrate [Name]’s life and hold you in faith.
Jewish
May their memory be a blessing.
Wishing you a long life.
Sending love during shiva; I’m here if you need anything.
Muslim
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un (We belong to God and to Him we return).
May Allah grant [Name] mercy and your family patience.
Holding you in duas.
Hindu
Om Shanti. May [Name] find peace.
Praying for strength for your family.
Holding you in thought as you honor [Name].
Buddhist
Wishing you peace and ease of heart.
May [Name]’s memory inspire compassion.
Holding you in mindfulness.
Spanish–English pairs (use with care)
Lo siento mucho por tu pérdida. — I’m so sorry for your loss.
Mis más sinceras condolencias. — My deepest condolences.
Que el recuerdo de [Nombre] te brinde consuelo. — May [Name]’s memory bring you comfort.
Estoy aquí para ti. — I’m here for you.
Te mando un abrazo. — Sending you a hug.

Note: When in doubt, choose non‑religious language and follow the family’s lead.

Messages by Channel (With Length and Etiquette Tips)

Text/SMS (with character-count friendly lines)

Text is fine for quick support, especially early on or when you’re not close.

Keep it under ~160 characters.
Avoid asking many questions.
Follow up later with a card, call, or visit.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here for anything you need.
Holding you in my thoughts today.
I can drop dinner on Thursday—no need to reply.
Sending you love and strength.
I’ll check in next week. Take gentle care.
Your [mom/dad/friend] will be deeply missed.
You’re not alone; I’m just a text away.
With sympathy and support.
I’ll remember [Name]’s [quality].
No need to respond—just love to you.

When not to text:

If the family requested privacy.
If you have their postal address and a card would be more appropriate.

Handwritten Card (and How to Sign)

Cards offer space and a keepsake they can return to later.

Aim for 3–6 sentences.

Include the person’s name.

Add a specific offer of help.

Close warmly with your full name.

I’m so sorry for the loss of [Name]. I’ll always remember [memory]. Please lean on me for [specific help]. With love, [Your Name].
Holding you in my heart as you honor [Name]’s life. I can [support]. With sympathy, [Your Name].
Your care for [Name] was an incredible gift. Wishing you comfort. I’m here for you. — [Your Name]
There are no words—just love for you and your family. I’ll check in soon. — [Your Name]
May memories of [Name] bring peace. I’m available for [help]. With condolences, [Your Name].
We’re thinking of you and honoring [Name] with you. — [Names]
With heartfelt sympathy for your loss of [Name]. — [Your Name]
Sending strength as you navigate the days ahead. — [Your Name]

Sign‑offs (solo):

With sympathy
Warmly
With love
In sympathy
Thinking of you

Group signatures:

With care, Your [Team]
With condolences, The [Company] Team
Signed by: [Names], [Department]

Email and Social Media

Email works well for professional or distant relationships.

Social media should be brief and respectful only if the family posted publicly.

Keep email subject lines clear so your note is easy to find.

Subject line ideas:

With sympathy for your loss
Thinking of you and your family
Our condolences from [Company/Team]
In memory of [Name]
Holding you in our thoughts
With heartfelt condolences
Honoring [Name]
We’re here for you

Email body examples:

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of [Name]. Wishing you comfort. If helpful, we can [accommodation].
On behalf of [Team], we’re very sorry for your loss. We’re thinking of you and are here to support your workload.

Social etiquette:

Comment only if the family has posted publicly.
Avoid asking questions or sharing details.
Consider a private message instead.

What Not to Say (and Better Alternatives)

It’s easy to reach for clichés that can minimize grief, even with good intentions.

When in doubt, keep it simple, compassionate, and focused on support.

Instead of “They’re in a better place,” try “I’m so sorry. I’m here for you.”
Instead of “Everything happens for a reason,” try “This is so hard. I’m holding you in my thoughts.”
Instead of “At least they lived a long life,” try “Their life meant so much. I’ll remember [Name]’s [quality].”
Instead of “I know how you feel,” try “I can’t imagine your pain, but I care deeply.”
Instead of “Time heals all wounds,” try “Take all the time you need. I’m here.”
Instead of “Be strong,” try “It’s okay to feel everything. I’m here to support you.”
Instead of “You can have another baby,” try “Your loss matters. I’m here to listen.”
Instead of discussing cause (suicide/overdose), try “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here without judgment.”

Timing and Follow-Up: What to Send and When

Consistency shows you care, even more than perfect wording.

Use these touchpoints to pace your support over time.

Day 0–3: Send a short text or email right away; if close, add a card.
Week 1–2: Follow up with a practical offer: “I can bring dinner Tuesday—no need to reply.”
After the funeral: “Thinking of you as things get quieter. I’m here for errands this week.”
One month: “I’m remembering [Name] with you today. How are you holding up?”
Three months: “Checking in—no need to respond. Coffee soon if you’d like.”
One year/anniversary: “Holding [Name] in my heart today. I’m here if you’d like to share a memory.”

Consistency matters more than perfect wording.

FAQs

Is it okay to send a condolence text?

Yes. A brief text is thoughtful when you first hear the news or if you’re not sure what to say.

Keep it short. Don’t ask for a reply. Follow up later with a card, call, or visit if appropriate.

If the family requested privacy, respect that.

How soon should I send a condolence message?

As soon as you learn of the loss.

A simple line now is better than a long message later.

You can follow up after the funeral and again in the weeks or months that follow to show ongoing support.

How do I sign a condolence card (solo or as a group)?

Use a warm, simple close: “With sympathy,” “With love,” “Warmly,” then your full name.

For groups, sign “With condolences, The [Team/Company].” Add individual names if space allows. Keep the message unified and brief.

What if I didn’t know the person who died?

Acknowledge the loss and center the grieving person.

Try: “I’m so sorry for your loss. While I didn’t know [Name], I know how much they meant to you. I’m here for [specific support].”

Keep it sincere and simple.

Should I mention donations or flowers?

Follow the family’s lead.

If an obituary requests donations “in lieu of flowers,” you can write: “I’ve made a donation to [Charity] in [Name]’s memory.”

Avoid suggesting causes unless the family has shared them.

References and Further Support

American Psychological Association: Grief resources — https://www.apa.org/topics/grief
Dougy Center (National Grief Center for Children & Families) — https://www.dougy.org
National Alliance for Children’s Grief — https://www.nacg.org
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — Call or text 988, https://988lifeline.org
SAMHSA: Coping with Grief — https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline

This guide offers general suggestions; always defer to the family’s preferences and culture. Your care and presence matter most.